Just Kidding

Come on readers...I know that some of you have been around since the NSPIT days. Not one of you warned me that writing about potential love interests equals the kiss of death to the relationship? Not one of you! I'm ashamed. Really. My readers have let me down.

See? This is why I don't even like to admit that I'm doing better than fine. When I put down that I felt good about the relationship, I might as well admitted that my foot was on fire and that I didn't smell smoke. In this case, I overlooked MG's very recent physical separation from his wife. They are still legally married, but separated. It wasn't until recently that they moved beyond the roommate status to "we are officially living in two separate residences" status.

And I have rules about this sort of thing! After dating Mr. Tugboat through his divorce, I promised myself that I would only date people that were legally divorced because no matter how much they think that they are over it, they aren't. Divorce is traumatic. Lawyers usually get involved and kids have to adjust. People have to adjust to their spouses dating other people and potentially bringing other people into parent their children. There is a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth. Even though I've never been married, I've seen enough destruction from divorce to know better than to put myself in the middle of it voluntarily. I used to think that I could help the person going through it, but I can't. Not while dating them at least. I know that much and yet, for some reason, I thought this time would be different. Almost as different ramming your head against a wall multiple times and expecting that it won't hurt. That kind of different.

So, MG and I were supposed to spend Memorial Day weekend together. Then Friday came and I got a text from him saying that his ex (what I liked to call his ex at least) decided to work overtime and wasn't going to pick the kids up until 10pm. He said he couldn't come over and I decided to hang out with R. and watch a movie. We were supposed to go out shopping before I worked at Pier 1 and he canceled that as well, saying that he wasn't sure what his ex was going to do. On Saturday, I got several texts from him saying how excited he was to hang out with me and finally get some alone time. The last one was around 3pm, while I was at work. About an hour later I get another text, this time about four hours before we had planned that he was going to pick me up from work and go out to a movie together. I'm not going to quote the text verbatim on here, but said something along the lines of, "I'm just not ready to be in a relationship and feel like I can't give you what you need...you are a special person....I need to be with my children and help them through this difficult transition...I just don't have the emotional capacity to be in a relationship right now".

Yes, I got dumped via text message.

I'm not trying to say that he didn't have very valid, well-thought out reasons for ending the relationship, it was the fact that I was texted these very valid, well-thought out reasons at work and dumped four hours before a date that really pisses me off. I texted him back and told him what he did was cowardly and that he at least should have talked to me. R. said that I was lucky he even told me at all, since most people just disappear. I have to argue, for the sake of humanity, that we hold people to higher standards than that. Certainly, I hope, that people have more decency than R. gives them credit for.

My parents had agreed to watch Zac on Friday and Saturday night so I could go out with MG. Instead of going out with him, I called R. again and he came and picked me up.

After my first beer at the restaurant, I started crying. By my third beer, I was glad that he was driving to the movie instead of me. I just felt so rejected, even if the reason that he ended the relationship wasn't about me, specifically. I can see that. I can also see that I got blind-sided and that I probably should have known better.