Does She or Doesn't She?

I always know when someone likes me, even as a person, when they read my blog. Actually, I've had people hate me as a person for this very blog, but at least I knew they were listening. They hated me, but I least I knew they cared enough to read.

And oh! This blog and I have been through so much. So many iterations, so many times when I've wanted to start writing and haven't had the courage to hit publish.

What can I say now? Work is great, my  love life is complex at best. I just made appointments to see my ObGyn and a Reproductive Endocrinologist as a completely single woman, but then I met someone. And oh how she made me smile. She made me feel like I had been waiting for her, but then there is all the fear and insecurity. All the people that tell me it's not what I think it is and "oh grasshopper, you should slow down".

So consider me officially slowed. I'm not even answering my phone right now. I'm so slow that a slug couldn't see me. I just had a great Easter dinner with my parents, Zac, and Clicker, and now we are all almost ready to go to bed. I'm so alone it hurts. As always. Just alone....and even when I thought I was through waiting for my white knight, I find myself wondering, "Just maybe...."