Breaking News

The biopsy results came back very vaguely. All the pathologist wrote was that it was NOT herpes or HPV (Thank God!). The report went on to say that I had "inflammatory tissue", but there was no known cause. So, good news, the cells weren't precancerous or disease-ridden. Bad news, my cells are pissed off and they can't figure out why.

You know what pissed off cells feels like "down there?" It's like someone is trying to start a fire by rubbing two sticks together...for a good four or five hours. In even better news, I'm on my third period in 8 weeks. All this ovulation and disintegration down there makes me tired. I also have a severe bacterial infection in my throat and nose so I'm on antibiotics. On the upside, I got a strong dose of ibuprofen that really works on my cramps, even if my throat still hurts.

In other news, I'm narrowing down my reproductive options. Clicker received a call from his Mom based off my blog post (Hi Mrs. Clicker!!!) where she learned that her son might help me. His reasons and his decisions are solely his alone to disclose, but I will say he has opted out of the process.

I've been looking more at alternative insemination at home. The cost is less because I would be purchasing intra-cervical insemination sperm (ICI), which has been washed less than intra-uterine insemination sperm (IUI). I can also do ICI sperm at home, with the help of handy kits. No, I'm not kidding. They actually sell DIY insemination kits. They look like this:

Its fairly horrifying at first glance, but upon closer inspection, it's all relatively innocuous (ok, if you aren't squeamish and the catheter like attachment to the syringe doesn't freak you out.) I'm positive these supplies aren't worth $23 + shipping and handling, but I really don't know where I would purchase the catheter besides the site I was looking on. I actually own that exact brand of cup to collect the sperm that gosh darnit, tried really hard, but couldn't make it to the egg. The pregnancy test looks like a generic from CVS.

I have further thoughts about doing this myself, but I need more time to think about them. I just thought that I would announce in the "Breaking News" post that I'm heading in that direction, for better or worse.