Snuggle Nest

Remember when I wrote about sharing a family bed with Zac? Well that problem just cleared itself up when one day my baby bird left the nest and decided it was more fun to sleep in his room and listen to books on CD in the dark. That left the nest open for hoarding invaders. KGII was sleeping in my nursery on a blow-up bed until his complaints about his back got too loud for me to drown out with the clacking of my laptop computer. I also had a very, very urgent need to nest and experience the joy of my pregnancy, which involved evicting him from the room dedicated to all things baby. Eventually in regards to the bed, KGII and I came to a "don't touch me and you can sleep on half of the bed" kind of detente. As my pregnancy progressed, we got to, "Ok, you can spoon me and feel the baby move, then move back over to your side, and make sure your foot doesn't touch me." It's a small understatement to say I don't like to be touched while I'm sleeping. With Zac, I erected a pillow fort to separate our sides of the bed. It helps that I have a king size bed the size of Arizona and Zac really likes to sleep on pillows perpendicular to the head board.

So, I had a rude awakening to co-parenting. I wanted this post to be up on my blog before I write my next post so when I say things with KGII are "complicated" it sounds like something more serious than a vague Facebook status.

Ben has been in the NICU for 15 days, with Monday being Day 16. In one of the early days, when I was still in a lot of pain from the emergency C-section and had only recently relearned the skill of standing on my own, KGII had a rush of male hormones while holding our child. Since this is my first go-around with a male partner (or any partner, of any sex), I didn't know that bonding could be such a physical experience for someone who didn't gestate a child. He felt a surge of pride, joy, and the feeling that our child was the most gorgeous human being that has ever graced this planet. He said he was having chest pains because he was so happy. I just kind of pitched my head to the side, squinted my eyes, and said, "Huh. That's good. Yes, he is very beautiful. You realize you're acting crazy, right?"

For some reason or another, we ended up at Babies R Us immediately following the hospital. It was like taking a hemophiliac to a blood bank. He was putty in the baby industry's hands and wanted to show his love for Ben with his wallet, which I can appreciate. I've been feeling like for at least four months. He had seen this product at another baby store and decided he needed and yearned for a snuggle nest. The snuggle nest is best explained via photograph.

This has been in a box for 12 days now, only making an appearance tonight since Ben has a glancing chance of being discharged from NICU tomorrow. Tonight is "practice". If that looks like a rush basket that Moses floated down the river in, you would be correct, except this one is plastic and covered with fabric and light padding. It also cost $60 and can only be used from 0-4 months. It has a light and musically sounds, including a beating heart beat, which is a little creepy for a product that hangs out in an adult bed. The snuggle nest also comes with its own requirements of co-parents: we are never allowed to let adult bedding touch it or cover it and each adult has to commit to only sleeping with one pillow and, I assume, not pushing the pillow up to sleep on your stomach with your head smashed against the flat sheet.

Now let's just take a step back. I'm not speaking for all of femininity here, but I'm guessing that there is no way in Hell most second time Moms would pay $60 bucks for something you can only use for 4 months. Plus, I'm not sure how I got talked into having my child that close to my head (I'm the white pillow). KGII thought it would be all snuggly and close and so! super! convenient! for me to breast feed. I think I was just excited that he was excited because I let him buy it. If you're thinking, "If he's so excited by it, he should buy a bed and then he can share half of it with an overpriced baby-holding basket" and then we'd be thinking the same thing. We're working on converting a formal living room to a bed room and it's slow going, what with me making KGII stop every 40 minutes and download Netflix and show me how to use the Wii. He also sometimes gets called into service and construct Legos with Zac and bring me water. We also go to the hospital 2-3 times a day and there are just projects that get shunted to the side when a kid comes six weeks early.

On the upside, there is no way I can get an errant elbow to the face with this thing in between us. On the downside, Ben snores...and hiccups...and sighs...and I'm not sure how I'm ever going to sleep again.

Hold me. On better thought, just stay on your side of Arizona/New Mexico border and I'll hang out near Nevada and maybe one day we can road trip to California. They clearly don't make beds big enough for this kind of situation.