29w 5d (Blogging about Blogging)

This is one of those meta posts where I blog about blogging. Feel free to ignore me. In fact, that goes for all of my writing. If you don't like what I write, perhaps it's better not to read at all. It reminds me of that movie with Howard Stern that came out in the 90's. It said that Howard Stern fans listened for X minutes (let's say it's 60 minutes), but the people that hated him listed for X+30 minutes (say 90 minutes). Basically, the haters will also pay more attention to you than the people that care.

Except when I piss off the people I care about. That's hard. I feel like my list of things I can't blog about grows month by month. I can't blog about: my family, the people I thought were my friends, my actual friends, my job, how I feel about my job, my company, and only very limited talk about my depression (mostly because it freaks my family out). I live in fear that one day one of my clients will find my blog and I'll have to explain that I have emotions outside stocks and bonds and some of those emotions are not pretty and do not fit into neat little boxes. I also live in fear that one of the people I blocked on facebook book marked my blog (and if you're reading, HI!!!) and print out this page and show it to my boss and my compliance manager (true story). Then I'll have a long, awkward conversation about why I chose to write about my life on the Internet in a semi-anonymous blog and why I don't just journal and have I reread the Social Media Policy in the past 60 days, because maybe that would be a good idea?

So I try to just write about myself, Zac, and Baby Bean, but there are people who make more than frequent contributions to my life like KGII (who also reads this and cringes most days), and my sister, Aunt Jen, and my Grandma, like my last post. I want to write about what really bothers me, but it seems like I'm more and more constrained to the point where I wonder if this is really just an exercise in frustration. But then I think about the people's blogs I read that inspire me, that make me feel more connected in the world, and I wonder if I bring that to anyone. Or if anyone gets to see another side of my personality from the blog and gets to know me a little better. I wonder about all of that. Besides my driving need to write and express myself, sometimes it's those thoughts that keep my going.

So besides blogging about blogging, I thought I send some links of people I've recently discovered and sharing them with you. Some of them I know personally and some of them just make me laugh when it feels like that's hard to do.

• Some Assembly Required, written by ss: http://heteroqueerarchitecture.blogspot.com/
• Parenting, Project Pregnancy, written by Melanie Rosen: http://www.parenting.com/blogs/project-pregnancy. Much to my delight and slight jealousy, Melanie just welcomed her baby girl into her family.
• Crack You Whip: http://crackyouwhip.blogspot.com/
• Mommy Shorts: http://www.mommyshorts.com/
• Oh Noa: http://ohnoa.com/

In the interest of full disclosure, all of these talented writers are women and most are either pregnant or have recently welcomed a new baby. What can I say? I'm in that place in life. I hope they can make your day a little lighter and make up for me blogging about blogging.