Appreciation

If you've been following me on facebook, you've known that I've been on a bit of a roller coaster for the past couple of weeks. At least I stopped crashing cars. That's something to be proud of. Right now I'm listening to hard core west coast rap with east coast influences on headphones, jamming along with the music...letting it take me to a place where I can't feel and my heart stops racing.

Even with all of that, there is one thing that I am struck by today. I have some amazing people in my life. There are people that would go to the mat for me, to use a "Godfather" reference. People that will look me straight in the eye and tell me, "You need to do what makes you happy because you deserve to be happy, every day," There are people that protect me in ways that I wish I could protect myself. These people that still see things in me that I used to believe were there, before I lost all the confidence in myself and turned into a sniveling whiner that can't take much more than a sideways look without thinking that it means I'm a bad person. Sometimes it amazes me that their faith in me is unwavering. I disappoint them, show them all of my faults and flaws, and they still call and ask me how I'm doing and tell me to text them, any time, just to make sure that I'm safe.

Right now, all I can say is thank you. You are appreciated in my life. You are what holds me together on the days where it feels like everything is falling apart. Thank you.