Food Cravings

As the prospect of the two-week liquid diet comes closer and closer and my surgery date is around the corner, I feel like I'm in my third trimester. For the first two trimesters, you know that labor is coming, but you can't imagine what it will be like. You know, at least theoretically, you are going to have a baby soon, but actually holding the baby in your arms seems fanciful and unrealistic. Suddenly, you are two weeks from your due date and holding newborn clothing and freaking out, occasionally stopping to stare at babies in the mall. That's where I am right now. I'm overly conscious of every piece of food that I stare at, every aroma, every texture, and beautiful, beautiful piece of food.

Take last night for instance. I guess I should clarify for one moment before moving forward. Just because I'm conscious of what I'm eating, doesn't mean that I'm eating healthy. In fact, the opposite is true. It's a well-understood fact in the gastric bypass community that almost everyone gains weight while waiting for their surgery. How could you not knowing that you face almost six weeks of liquids? The first protein shake is D-Day. To cram as many metaphors as I can into one, small blog post, I'm T-13 days to drinking only liquids. You better damn believe that I'm eating all the food that I can possibly imagine.

That is all just a long way of trying to explain why I got home last night and ordered a Papa John's Hawaiian pizza. Then sat on my couch and talked to Zac, who was drawing pictures. I flipped on the tv and found myself watching every food commercial with intense interest. A Sargento cheese commercial came on, the one where some invisible hand is slicing through huge blocks of cheese and I knew, right then and there, I had to have some cheese. This is the sick part - I had already ordered the pizza. That commercial broke me. I went to the fridge and found my own large block of cheese and shared it with Zac....while waiting for pizza.

"Hello, my name is B, and I'm a food addict."