Definitely Not Married

I've had the strangest occurrence in the past week or so. Three people that I respect and work with on a daily basis have asked something along the lines of: "So where is your husband?" or "You and your husband create such beautiful babies, you should have more."

Uhhh....who said that I had a husband?

I usually scrunch up my eyebrows and look confused, which somehow prompts people to continue speaking trying to clarify themselves by saying, "Well, we've heard you talk so much about your son and...." They just seem to trail off as they realize they've backed themselves into a whopping stereotype. It's a hole that's hard to get out of once you've sunk into it.

Usually at that point in the conversation I'm silent and cock my head to the side, waiting for them to draw the link between my son and my invisible husband. Sometimes I'm kind enough to say, "I don't have a husband," but really, what I want to say is, "He can't be here right now. His day job of caring riding unicorns on rainbows and sprinkling fairy dust on good girls and boys keeps him away from home quite a bit."

Yes, I have a son. No, I do not have a husband. In fact, it's taken me three years to become comfortable with the identity of "single Mom". I'm not sure why these professionals would assume that just because I've procreated that I would have a partner in my life. Is it because I, like them, have a professional job and manage to get to work every morning without syrup or applesauce on my shirt? Is it because I'm not on public assistance (anymore)? Or is this just one giant stereotype that to be a successful woman with a child that I must have the financial, emotional, and legal support of a husband? No one has ever mentioned anything about be having a "partner" or even acknowledged that I could be anything other than perfectly heterosexual.

Although it is quite flattering that someone would assume that I'm married rather than trolling for dates on cheap internet websites (oh wait...umm...I guess I hide that well). I should say that it's flattering that I'm able to keep my work life separate enough from my private life that what goes on after work ends is kept to myself. That's been harder to do now that Zac attends preschool at my organization, but it's possible. Not only is he the only blond kid at the school, soon he's going to be the only blond kid at the school wearing a shirt that says, "I have no Dad, but my Mom is hot."