Topsy-Turvy

The FOB (Father of the Baby) e-mailed me yesterday, from a myspace account no less. He said that he knew he had been a complete and total shit, but that he wanted to help and that he missed Zac. He also said that talking via myspace was probably the safest way to communicate. I dissolved into confusion and anger. "How can you miss someone that you've never known?" Zac and the FOB met once when Zac was six months old. Then an immediate thought: "Is this safe for you because you are still avoiding the Attorney General's Office you shit?"

It was like falling down the rabbit's hole when I clicked over to the FOB's myspace page and read this:

"By the way...The video below of the little boy in his diaper is my son. His name is Zachary Russell, he was born July 8th 2005 in Houston, Texas which is where he lives with his mom right now. In this video he is one and a half and obviously very smart. I miss him alot, and work my job to support him."

Did I miss something? "I work my job to support him?" The FOB hasn't paid more than $20 in child support at any time in over a year. He owes close to $6,000. The video he has up is of Zac identifying his body parts. He can't be more than 18 or 19 months old, even though he's standing and sort of toddles over to the camera on his feet, so I know it's after Thanksgiving 2006.

I wanted to puke. To everyone, he looks like a doting father. What the hell does he mean, "right now" Zac is living in Houston? Zac will live in Houston until I no longer do. He's out of his mind if he believes the delusion that I'm going to move back to New Hampshire to keep Zac close to his family. The man lives in Florida anyways! Why does he care where his son lives?

I wrote him back, but my angry-yet-trying-to-be-polite tone caused all my sentences to sound like a parody of "Dick and Jane" books. "Zac is three years old now. Zac goes to preschool where I work. I work two jobs." I couldn't think of anything else that didn't denigrate down to cursing and wailing on my part. I can't even imagine what kind of help he wants to offer. He closed the door on emotional support when I was pregnant and he stopped returning my calls. He lost the ability for me to be civil towards him when he got fired from his job and didn't call and tell me that Zac no longer had health insurance. I paid over $3,000 in medical bills that year because of him. It's a pretty easy process for him to start helping financially, just send money to the AG's office. Done!

It makes me sick and what's worse is that I know he read it. He hasn't responded to it, but I know he read it. I'm not really sure what I would have to say to someone that tried to have me thrown in jail a couple of months ago, not that he knows any of that. All of this just bothers me.

Probably not coincidentally, my case at the Attorney General's Office of Texas is up for review. Cases for child support and custody are reviewed once every three years. I completed the form and sent it back in. The least I can do is take a morning off work and sit across from a case worker to try and explain why I think the Writ of Withholding should be enforced. It just makes me sick to my stomach.