26w 5d (6 weeks in)

Today marks the 6 week mark that I've been off work. This is, to my recollection, the longest I've been off work in my adult life. I started work at 16 years-old and have basically worked throughout 20s and 30s. The main question I find myself asking is, "What have I been doing since I've been off work?"

There is no really easy answer to that. Mostly, I've been sleeping. I go to bed between 8pm-9pm at night and wake up, for the first time, anytime between 1am - 4am. I'm usually up until 8:30am and then I go back to bed for my second wake up time. Provided I don't have to go to therapy, I can sleep until about 11am. That only leaves me 4 hours until my Dad comes over and Zac comes home. Sometimes, if I'm feeling especially sleepy, I'll take a nap from 2pm - 4pm. Basically, I've been in a coma the last six weeks and I don't feel like it's lifting any time soon. It hasn't helped that the main advice I've been getting from the medical community in regards to pre term labor and contractions is, "Slow down. Lay down. Drink some water. Don't do anything too exerting." The only way I could exert myself less would be if I was on full bed rest and people brought food to me.

In addition to sleeping, my week schedules itself nicely around the plethora of appointments that I have to go to. I have two psychiatrists, an Ob Gyn that wants to see me every two weeks, a therapist, an Optometrist that wanted to see me every two weeks, a high risk Maternal Fetal Specialist, and a host of other medical professionals that make guest appearances. I'm not sure how I would be able to work and go to all of these appointments, so I am thankful for the time I have off.

I've also been going to therapy four times a week, although I missed three days this week because of the contractions. That takes a remarkable amount of time because the place I go to is about 50 minutes away from my house and I'm there from 10:30am - 1pm. By the time I get home it's about 2pm and I'm ready for Zac to get home at 3:45pm.

So have I been bored? Some days I suppose. Am I climbing the walls? Not nearly as much as I was when I first stopped work. I think about going back to work and it just seems very tiring. Not working is not an option for me so I'm trying to appreciate this time at home to take care of my body and Baby Bean. Has my HMO approved my short term disability leave? No, no not yet, which is very upsetting. Basically, my sales hurdles don't stop until they either approve or disapprove of my leave, so the clock is continuing to tick even though I'm not at work.

Right now, however, I would just like to go back to sleep.