Conversations

People's main criticism of this blog has been how personal it is. Whether it's me talking about my job, my dates, my friends, my son, or my uterus, people seem to think that I'm sharing too much. What is funny about that is as I've gotten older, my willingness to share information about myself has actually decreased. Yet, there is this blog. This blog creates a dissonance within my external and internal life and has honestly brought me a significant amount of trouble over the past seven years.

I don't really have a good answer as to why I write in this forum, on this site, and on the Internet other than I'm vain enough that I like having people read what I write. I like connecting with other people that might feel the same way as me. Or people who think so differently that they challenge my view of the world. I like reading other people's blog, so I blog myself.

My sister made an interesting point about the posts I've been putting up recently. Whether or not to have another child and how to go about that task are usually conversations between partners, held behind closed doors. Very few friends and family members are brought in on those discussions. Writing through the process is opening myself up to all kinds of observations, criticisms, and doubts. I get that. Normally, when one committed person comes out of a bathroom with a positive pee stick in their hand, it's considered good news when they tell the other person or post a picture of it on Facebook.  I've never once had a woman tell me she's pregnant and asked her if she's sure that it's a good time for a baby and if she's ready for the massive changes in her life. I've never once asked a woman if she could afford to have another child. Never once. Usually because her partner would kick my ass. That, and I live in the South and that would just be considered bad manners on my part to make a pregnant woman cry, even if I did have a valid point.

I'm not sure where to take the conversation from here. So much in my life has changed since I had Zac, but detailing those changes would seem like I'm trying to defend myself. I don't feel like that's necessary.