I decided last night that I'm not fun enough for Carlo. We broke up on the phone during a break from his EMT class. I felt bad that it had to happen then, especially when he was tired from trying to put out a burning building then sitting in class for several hours, but it had been building for a little while.
Here's evidence of why I'm not fun:
1) I'm a single Mom. Raising Zac is one of my first priorities. If you want to get to know me, you are going to have to get to know him. I don't want someone to be a Daddy, or even play Daddy, but they are going to have to spend time with Zac when he's around and awake. He is my the biggest part of my life.
2) I'm getting my MBA. I often have to do homework instead of cuddling on the couch watching a football game that I don't care about. If I am doing that, I'm usually trying to figure out how I can fall asleep and still seem interested.
3) I'm often tired. See reasons 1-2.
4) I'm a baby when I'm sick. I'll still come over and I'll even offer to go out after I've thrown up. I don't want someone to look disappointed - like I haven't given enough. In fact, when I'm sick, I like it when people take care of me and bring me saltines and Sprite and rub my back. I'm the least fun person ever when I'm sick. I admit this.
5) One word: FOB. I'm thinking about filing a law suit against the FOB and wondering where I'm going to get the money for the lawyer's fees and getting the information together for the lawyer.
6) I like being in a relationship. Dating multiple people doesn't really interest me. I'm in fact, a horrible dater because I just want to get to know someone and find out if we are compatible. If I'm dating someone for more than a month or so, I don't want to worry if I use a term of endearment or call them my boyfriend. This also includes saying not hiding my relationship from anyone, on or off the Internet.
I just couldn't be the happy-go-lucky, fun woman that Carlo wanted. I have too much on my mind to try and pretend that I don't and that what's going on in my life affects me. My fun nights are on Saturdays when Zac is at my parents and I'm finished with school for the week. Most weeknights I'll be in bed by 10pm reading a novel and listening to the sound of the rain on CD.
I am kind, caring, supportive, hard-working, and determined, but very decidedly, not fun.
Not how I expected my morning to go
6 days ago
6 comments:
When I started dating my wife I laid out all of the things about me that other people didn't find so attractive. I leave glasses of water sitting around, I don't do laundry or iron very well or often, I whine a lot. I'm very particular about tea, it must be made to my specifications or I won't drink it, even if someone was nice enough to make it for me, and basically I'm a royal pain in the ass.
I was honest and she knew what she was getting herself into so it's really funny when she complains about something because I just look at her and say, "I told you!"
Being true to yourself and taking care of yourself and your son is the best thing you can do. Love will come your way and when it does, it will be worth waiting for!
Thanks RSG! I've been reading you for a while and love reading about your relationship with your wife.
I'm just feeling down today about my complete inability to make a relationship work, even if the other person in this case didn't even want to be in a relationship with me.
The important thing I see here is that you know who you are and you know that you want someone who accepts all of those things about you. You will find that person, and (as RSG said) it will be worth waiting for!
I'm not fun either. At least not 98% of the time. Kids, school, life...it takes it out of a mom and it takes a special person to understand that. He will come and in the meantime, enjoy the solitude knowing no one is questioning your priorities. You get to be as fun or unfun as you want.
Right on Dee and Kelly.
B, I am proud of you that you made the first move here since *you* knew that this wasn't fitting right. You've known it before, too, but waited for the dude to weigh in just in case. This way is MUCH better.
Your priorities are perfect and perfectly reasonable. You don't have to change a thing.
Love,
P
I'm totally with you!! You will find someone who supports all of those things. (I have to believe that because I am most of them too. :-)
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