Want to Feel My Rib?

Do you ever notice that there is two kinds of pain: ouch (that hurts! Stop it immediately) and ouch (yeah, that hurts, but I can tell that it's for a greater good and it feels almost a little good)? Physical therapy on Thursday really pushed the boundaries on ouch - in a bad way - and ouch - in a good way. I find it interesting that I'm actually looking forward to going back this afternoon.

Much like the drama in my mouth, this is a medical mystery months (going on years) in the making. I don't even really know where to start, other than to say my back started hurting in February 2008 when I was writing a grant. I waited a couple of months because, apparently, that's what I do. I'm a good waiter. I wait for my medical problems to resolve themselves before seeking treatment. It's just so unfortunate that they rarely do. Anyways, I saw a family practitioner, which is perhaps the WORST possible kind of doctor for pain. He thought I was drug-seeking because I had been using vicadin left over from an oral surgery to help me with the pain. In his mind, vague, non-injury-related "back problems" clearly indicated that I was hooked to hydrocodone and should immediately get out of his office.

Sigh.

Fast forward...I don't know....to August 2008. I met Dew and we started going to electro-accupuncture sessions. Basically, the needles are attached to electrical current and vibrate inside your skin. You can imagine how much fun that would be for 45 minutes, while lying on your stomach listening to music from a cd player. The pain relief from a session would last for about 3 days. Then I was back to my normal level of pain. I had a lot of accupuncture sessions and it worked for a while.

Then I saw an orthopedic surgeon and he suggested physical therapy and an anti-inflammatory. I went to one session of physical therapy (for $45) and didn't go back because it took too long and was too expensive.

I think at some point I see another family practitioner and beat my head against a wall. Then my psychiatrist started prescribing things for my back pain. Probably not the best idea considering muscle relaxers don't actually make me feel better, they just make me not care that I'm in pain. And I was in so much pain.

SOOOO....back to another family practitioner at my new place. She doesn't give me anything for pain and sends me to...get this...another orthopedic surgeon!! For another $45 I go and see the Ortho Doc, who happens to be Chair of the Orthopedic Department at a very prestigious medical school in town. I fall a little bit in love with him when he says, "Show me your pain" and I point to the middle of my back. He says, "Hmm...sometimes my patients don't tell me that the pain moves from side to side because they are afraid that it will affect their credibility with me" I gasped. "Yes! That's exactly what my pain does," I solemnly swear. He says, "It's probably a muscular problem that I'm not going to be able to help with. You are a non-surgical candidate. You should go see a Physical Pain and Rehabilitation Specialist".

Dew and I trundled to another doctor where I have a 2.5 hour appointment that involved pushing and pulling. I was prescribed physical therapy and an anti-inflammatory (stop me if you've heard this one before) and two MRIs since the x-rays and blood work came back normal.

I'm committed to physical therapy this time, mostly because I have to take care of myself. No one else will and I've worked like a dog all year. I thought I didn't have any vacation time because what was showing up on my check stub was a pitifully small amount. I'm still in a negative for sick leave after being in Peru in February 2009, so every time I go to the doctor, I have to use vacation time. Turns out, what was being printed on our check stubs was wrong. I have a surplus of vacation time from not taking more than 1 or 2 days all year. I can only carry-over 40 hours of time and if I don't use all my surplus vacation time before the end of the year I lose it.

The Pain Doc recommended a very specific therapist for me to work with at yet-another-prestigious hospital in town. I really like him, especially when he said he could literally feel where my rib was turned out and spent 20 minutes trying to manipulate it. That was the "ow, I want to kick you in your nuts" part. Fortunately, it was over relatively quickly.

Now there is just the money part to worry about. On my insurance plan, every session of pt costs $45. I'm scheduled for two sessions this week and my MRI is going to cost another $45. That's $135 in medical expenses for this week alone. I reapplied to Pier 1 to help cover some of these expenses. I'm hoping that I will be able to work a couple nights a week and on Sundays.

At least I can point to the really cool rib that's sticking out if someone thinks I'm faking my pain.