For the record, KGII hates my blog. He hates being mentioned on my blog and really, really hates when I don't tell "his side" of the story on the blog. I maintain that this is my sliver of Internet and those wishing to express their own feelings can get their own damn blog. Or they can comment on posts or I don't know...talk to me about it like a normal human being. Whatever. I digress.
I'm sitting in my room, with Piper lying at the end of the bed, and I feel trapped. About a month ago, KGII moved out. He went to Huntsville because I couldn't and wouldn't give him what he needed for us to work in a landlord/rental dynamic. Being roommates were never in the cards. So all of his stuff left my house for his parents house in Huntsville. Then he got a job. Not just any job. He got a job in my building, on my floor, across the hallway where I work. The job is commission only which means he will only get paid when he makes commissions.
You see the conundrum here right? He left. All of his stuff is in Huntsville, but he has a job in the same building I work. He has nowhere to live and no way to pay for an apartment. So I let him stay with me until we could figure something out. I don't know how long it will be before he sees his first paycheck. So, he sleeps on the left-hand side of my king size bed (the bed, which I bought, coincidentally, so I could co-sleep with another adult and never have to actually touch them).
I'm not sure what happened tonight. Last night, he didn't get back from Huntsville until midnight, then took a bath for two hours, then woke me up to ask me to not sleep spread eagle in the middle of the bed. It was just so damn inconsiderate that he didn't get to my place BEFORE I went to bed. Since he got there after I was already happily asleep, I figured he got whatever was left over of the bed. He didn't feel that way, which is why he woke me up. This isn't going to make rational sense to anyone who is not pregnant. I can feel that coming even before I type these words, but do you know how precious sleep is to a pregnant woman? I have insomnia, anxiety, and a fervent need to pee every morning at exactly 3:58am. On the good days, I can go back to sleep. I'm not putting enough emphasis on that. On the "Oh Thank You Mother God I can get another two hours of sleep and feel like a human again" On the bad days, I watch a lot of Animal Planet until 6:30am. I haven't used an alarm clock to wake up in over four months. My body just pops awake and instead of popping awake at 3:58am, it was 2:12am yesterday morning. That's when I was woken up.
It's not the minor inconveniences that drive me insane. It's the major ones. Like that I'm supposed to share my bed with someone that left me and our child because they had a change of heart and got a job without having anywhere to stay. I'm supposed to make that all better and I just...I just...reached my limit tonight. I told KGII that he couldn't have half of my bed and now he's in the living room and I feel trapped in the bedroom. Pregnancy hormones and fear of confrontation and guilt leave me feeling like a giant bitch. I just couldn't keep giving up my bed and a little piece of my sanity tonight. Just not again.
Not how I expected my morning to go
6 days ago
5 comments:
What's going on that he can't get his own place?
I already told you my thoughts and really, you don't have to be pregnant to think that he was inconsiderate.
It's your house and your bed and if he doesn't like the way you do things then at least while he's living there rent and responsibility free, he can shut up and deal with it.
It's not like he's voluntarily helping you in other ways like Zach watch or cleaning or nightly foot rubs. If he was, then I might have more sympathy for him.
Life is not a free ride. Being a grown-up means doing things you don't want to do because of decisions that maybe you didn't think through.
He had sex with you, you got pregnant and now he needs to shit or get off the pot.
Sorry, that was a little ranty, but deadbeat dads irritate the hell out of me.
Yeah, what Jenn said.
Seriously, this is your blog so no shit that it's your opinions and perceptions. If KGII doesn't like it, he can start his own blog, not read yours, or stop being a douche. Life has lots of choices, just not always the ones we want but that's called being an adult and dealing with real life rewards and consequences of our actions.
He started out with good intentions: he wanted to get a job close to where I live so he could help me while I was sick and be close to the baby. Only the job he found was commission only and he didn't have enough money for an apartment. So I let him stay with me. For his good intentions. And because I'm an idiot, but that's a story for another post.
I'll agree with you that his intentions were good. But his actions aren't.
He doesn't respect you and your space. And he seems to think that an apology and his good intentions make everything all better, and they don't.
You are obviously willing to work with him, but he's only willing to make a token show of cooperation. Anytime that doing the right thing makes him uncomfortable he chokes.
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